You Make Me Feel So Mahtava

Helsinki, Finland
2010

It was one of the first words I learned in Finland: mahtava. Finnish for “awesome.” It worked itself into my daily vocabulary because it does things that “awesome” never can, letting you exhale and simmer on the moment: MAH-ta-vaaaaaa. My life in Helsinki was mahtava in large part to the friends I made at work and beyond, a global crew from countries including Finland, Italy, Holland, Chile, India, Romania, Ireland, Brazil, Sweden, Australia, Spain, Germany, Singapore, Norway, Canada, the UK, and the US. We all lived within blocks from one another and for that reason and others, we hung out with an intensity I had only experienced at camp. Many of us worked in the same building. All of us ate and drank at the same places. And most of us danced our hearts out until nothing mattered besides camaraderie, rhythm, and avoiding the broken glass.

By coincidence and for all positive reasons, five of us left Helsinki at the same time. While packing up my apartment, I found a can of temporary spray chalk in the back of my closet. I cut out a stencil while stuffing things into suitcases, and after friends came over for one last hurrah and we laughed and played and they adopted my chairs and lamps and we slow-danced and hugged, I crept out into the night and left one last message to them in front of their doors and streets and favorite cafes, something they would see only after I was in the clouds. Helsinki, you make me feel so mahtava! We were all together at this moment in time in our lives and it was great.

2010, temporary spray chalk, Helsinki, Finland.




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